The Kids Are What? Grown? No Way!

I know Joey is 18, and I should be used to the fact that both of my kids are now {gulp} "grown ups". It's just hard to wrap my head around it sometimes. I mean, I don't feel old enough to have grown kids {not most of the time anyway}. I'm told all the time that I don't look old enough to have grown kids, so I believe that's true {even if it's not the case}. So, how on Earth can it be that both of my kids are "grown-ups"? How does 18 years {and 24 years for Kristin} just fly by so quickly? Wasn't it just last year or so it seems that we were having to watch Disney movies the SAME Disney movies over and over everyday? And no, I don't mean for me!!!! {although I do enjoy a good Disney movie from time to time} It doesn't seem that long ago that Joey used to have a Cowboy Woody with "Joey" written on the boot that he carried around. He loved that Woody so much, that his hand kept coming off. I still have the hand in my jewelry box because I finally got tired of sewing it back on.

I've never wanted to be anything except a Momma. and a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Cut me some slack on that one though- I was 7-8 years old All I have been since I was 17 years old is a Mommy (yeah, yeah wife too, but this isn't about that at this time.) The last 24 years of my life have been devoted to being the best Mommy possible to the most amazing kids in the world. What now? How do you move on when you're not needed as much as before? How do you go from every breath making sure they are ok, to barely seeing them, and mainly just speaking to them on text and Facebook? How do you change from having the identity of "Kristin's/Joey's mom" to finally being merely "Becky"? It's really different going from where you know the entire family of all of your kids' friends to not even knowing their friends.

I'm learning to "let go". I really am! It may not sound like it from the last paragraph. I don't ask a lot of questions. I show Joey that I trust him and his decisions. {and I REALLY DO trust him-he hasn't given me reason not to}. I don't give him a curfew, and when I have asked him to come home earlier than midnight, he has. I am always here if he needs to talk. I wait for him to come to me instead of demanding to talk to him. We actually still talk about things in his life daily {of course it means I stay up a lot later}. I am so glad that we homeschooled because we may not have the relationship we do otherwise. There are times though that he thinks I am ridiculous when I worry about him. Hey, I'm new to this kids being grown thing. He IS just 18. I think it'd be a lot easier if I had my close friends around instead of living so far from them. We're all going thru the same thing- going from homeschooling and them being totally dependent on you for everything to basically just being on call for them...kinda like PRN work- let go and be there on an as needed per request. The key that I've found is to pray, pray and pray for my kids... And still pray more. I pray for myself to let go and not try to hold them down either. I also trust in the way I raised them. I know their upbringing. I KNOW they know right from wrong. I worked for the last 24 years to make sure they did.

My biggest goal is for them to know that I love then no matter what. Nothing they can do will ever make me not love them. I may get mad at them from time to time. I may get frustrated. But I will ALWAYS love them. I hope that they both know that.

Hopefully, some of you can relate to this. Let's all pray for each other and each other's babies oops, I mean grown kids. :)

Until next time- Peace out!